Welcome to Wonderland

Come right in, oh graceful sir,
Now aren't you just a loathsome cur,
Fall on your knees and bow down in shame,
And please enlighten us to your name,
What was that son, we couldn't hear,
Don't mumble my boy, speak clear,
Ah Cain, Cain,
Humanity's bane,
Thy deed, thy deed,
So pleasurable indeed...

Oh but what's done is done,
Come lad lets have some fun,
Shoot the monkey, can't you see,
It's the only way to set you free...

Oh look, oh look, the doctor's up,
Serve him tea lad, here's the cup,
The tea you say, oh never you mind,
With his scalpel, the doctor will drink find,
Now come along boy, that didn't hurt,
The cut's not enough to bury you in dirt...

Come now dear, let's play a game,
We just got a new maid to maim,
Grab a blade son, we're all just sharks,
So lets decorate her skin with a million marks...

Now aren't you just a delightful one,
The look in your eyes is so much fun,
But steady now lad, control your haste,
To drain her on the first day would be a waste,
It's so hard to come across a merchant who owns,
A girl so soft, with such exquisite moans...

So come now boy, and just relax,
Perhaps go out and stab some backs...

Oh dear lad, are those tears in your eyes,
Finally realized it was you behind her cries?
Yes boy, it was you, not just 'someone',
Now let's go and snuff out the sun...

Oh come now boy, feeling remorse,
You're no better than a rotting corpse...

Go ahead then boy, shake and shiver,
Drown us out and cry me a river...

Or let's cut out that heart that makes you so sad,
Admit it lad, it's driving you mad,
So give in to insanity so grand,
We welcome you to wonderland...

Awakening

I wonder if you know, what it's like, to wake up in a pile of your own waste...

I don't mean waking up one day and finding out that you shit yourself in your sleep...
I mean opening your eyes, half asleep, and finding yourself leaning against a wall in a dark, narrow alleyway, staring out towards the people on the streets; passing by the alleys narrow entrance...

And you continue to stare at the blur of shapes as they go about their routines. Either completely ignorant of your presence, or completely indifferent you it...
You see a few familiar faces... but then they vanish as soon as they appear, swallowed by the crowd...

There's a piano somewhere...
Someone in the building above you... Against the wall of which you are leaning... Someone is playing a sad and broken symphony...
And you think it may just be a recording, but you know it's not, because the sound is too broken to be anything but human, and it fills up your head, jolting you awake...

And then you realize, you're surrounded by waste...
Covered in it...
Waste...
The only product of your life...

It's overbearing... the very presence of it...
It sickens you...

And you wonder... why you had never noticed it before...

But you noticed it now...
So you try to get up...
Only you can't...
It seems it's been so long that your body doesn't even remember how to move anymore...

So you just sit there, letting the atmosphere wear away at you... watching the crowd, as the sad pianists symphony fades away...
And you realize, this is what they would call... an awakening...

And you gaze at the crowd again, slowly trying to flex your muscles...
The sickening atmosphere around you getting heavier...

More unbearable... causing you to struggle harder...

And you feel your hand start to move... very slowly and jerkily... but it moves...
And you smile, leaning against the wall and continuing to try to move...

A very weary and broken smile...

"What a shitty awakening..."

______________________________________

Yeah... It's very shitty...
But it's a start...
I guess that's all I could ask for...

Daydream

A host of ants scurry about the wall, going out to nourish their home; hidden behind one of the cracks created by the branch that broke through the wall.

The large and magnificent branch, looking so painfully twisted, that had broken through the wall, and spread all over it, blooming with such fragile blue flowers, and covering them with leaves painted crimson…

Freshly painted, dripping blood, spattering it all around as the wind whispers through the leaves…

A paintbrush gently scrapes a leaf, picking up the color it required, as the painter continued to work, painting butterflies on her body. Standing underneath the slow drizzle of blood, lost in her work.

Two children giggle as they run around, unaware of the blood being rained upon them, too busy lost in their game, of trying to steal a severed human head from each other…

Except one of them is better, faster, and she won’t let him take the head from her arms.

So he grabs her hair and pulls her to the ground, using the head as a weapon to bludgeon her with, raining blow after painful blow… each cracking and breaking sound echoing around the room…

The painter sighs as she takes another swipe off a leaf, and draws a straight vertical line across her wrist, dropping the brush onto the floor as she starts to work on the wall with her bleeding hand…

After he deems it sufficient, he stops and gazes at the trophy in his hand. The head still dripping blood onto the floor, its nose broken, and missing the teeth that were now stuck in the moaning girl’s skin…

The painter sighs as she leans against the wall, sitting in her own blood, as more drops slowly rain down upon her… And the crimson butterflies on her skin start to take flight, separating from her painfully, tearing the flesh from where they emerged…

And he holds his prize close to his chest, unaware of the girl’s painful screams of anger as she pushes herself up, standing battered and misshapen behind him, limbs broken and jutting out or jointed at various unnatural places…

And she forces him to the ground, attacking him like a beast; hitting him, biting him, tearing his skin apart…

The painter closes her eyes, as the last of the butterflies break away from her face. Lying beneath the words that she’d scrawled on the wall over her… Fuck me up…

And when the girl is done, she claims the head, running away as the boy gets up again. Smiling at him with her broken smile, missing the teeth that had either been knocked out, or were imbedded in the boy’s skin…

And they laugh and continue their game…

Jack… There’s something terribly wrong here…
Yes love, it’s you…

________________________________

Just a daydream I had in my school van today... I'm usually half asleep in the mornings...With daydreams like this... I wonder if the fact that I don't dream is actually a blessing...

Hmm... the last part...Is me talking to myself...And no, my name's not Jack... he's just... one of the voices in my head...

Scrap of Paper

-

There is nothing in this world more interesting than its inhabitants.

Especially those with the utmost pride in their existence; those proud of their complexity and the ‘superiority’ it grants them…

Though that rarely holds true... Most people, most of the time, are as easy to read as an open book.

No…

That parable won’t work.

They lack the depth of a book.

A scrap of paper maybe…

-

In my Stanford supplement, I wrote people's minds as my ‘topic that you find intellectually engaging’…
Just a little something my mind said in response to that…

Under Angels Skin

-

With fervor and celebration,
They march on,
Bright eyes gazing to the sky,
So that they may not gaze the bodies underneath...

Carved up stone,
So beautifully painted and shaped,
Such perfect masks,
To hide the faces of monsters...

Almost ethereal they seem,
In their beauty and grace,
That ethereal is as close,
As they can get to reality...

Every encounter with them,
Divine in their grace,
Leaves you forever changed,
Missing the parts they took from you...

Those angels you know,
Who are disguised as men,
Who so sweetly decieve,
And are demons wearing angel skin....

-

A random blank verse...
People are monsters...
Monsters should be exterminated, ne?

Never Trust People (?)

Sitting in the corner so quiet and demure;
No one can tell that inside you’re crying and insecure…

It’s not becoming of a person they say;
To grieve over your pain in anyway…

It shows weakness so don’t say a word;
To show any weakness would just be absurd…

For in this world is kindness nonexistent;
You will be devoured if you’re not resistant…

So lock up your pain, lock it away;
And never to anyone must about it you say…

And never must, in anyone, your pains you confide;
From these deceitful snakes must yourself you hide…

Hide it behind a mask, don’t leave a trace;
Of your sorrows, your tears, your real face...

And never, oh never, allow yourself to trust;
For friendship is just venom hiding under the crust…

Never trust them, those deceitful ‘others’;
Not even your parents, sisters, or brothers…

You’re drowning in it, your pain and your fears;
But all that matters is that you hide your tears…

Burying it all inside is what you should do;
All those feelings and emotions that make you you…

Believe us, it’s for your own sake;
To drown out your real self and live life a fake…

The one thing you must never do;
Is to trust someone with a piece of you…

Hide it forever, hide all your pain;
Even a little bit of trust will surely be your bane…

At least that’s what they say, advice carved in stone;
But must you really bear your burdens alone…

We’re taught not to trust from the very start;
To seal our poisons in our heart…

Letting it course through our veins;
Hiding our tears as we bear the various pains…

It gets too much for one person to bear;
I’m sick of sitting around watching you tear…

I’ll siphon the poison out of your heart;
Hold you close and stop you from falling apart…

You don’t have to trust me, I really couldn’t care;
All I know is, I’ll always be there…

For you, only you, there till the end;
And all your sorrows and wounds I will mend…