Awakening

I wonder if you know, what it's like, to wake up in a pile of your own waste...

I don't mean waking up one day and finding out that you shit yourself in your sleep...
I mean opening your eyes, half asleep, and finding yourself leaning against a wall in a dark, narrow alleyway, staring out towards the people on the streets; passing by the alleys narrow entrance...

And you continue to stare at the blur of shapes as they go about their routines. Either completely ignorant of your presence, or completely indifferent you it...
You see a few familiar faces... but then they vanish as soon as they appear, swallowed by the crowd...

There's a piano somewhere...
Someone in the building above you... Against the wall of which you are leaning... Someone is playing a sad and broken symphony...
And you think it may just be a recording, but you know it's not, because the sound is too broken to be anything but human, and it fills up your head, jolting you awake...

And then you realize, you're surrounded by waste...
Covered in it...
Waste...
The only product of your life...

It's overbearing... the very presence of it...
It sickens you...

And you wonder... why you had never noticed it before...

But you noticed it now...
So you try to get up...
Only you can't...
It seems it's been so long that your body doesn't even remember how to move anymore...

So you just sit there, letting the atmosphere wear away at you... watching the crowd, as the sad pianists symphony fades away...
And you realize, this is what they would call... an awakening...

And you gaze at the crowd again, slowly trying to flex your muscles...
The sickening atmosphere around you getting heavier...

More unbearable... causing you to struggle harder...

And you feel your hand start to move... very slowly and jerkily... but it moves...
And you smile, leaning against the wall and continuing to try to move...

A very weary and broken smile...

"What a shitty awakening..."

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Yeah... It's very shitty...
But it's a start...
I guess that's all I could ask for...